Music and lyrics by Stefania de Kenessey
From "The Well-Tempered Woman"
Performed by Eugenia Dante, soprano, and Katherine Miller, piano
The names of woman are multitudinous
The list is lengthy, extremely curious
That out of dozens and dozens, perhaps a hundred terms
All but seven are monosyllabic words
The tongue we speak is undoubtedly unique
A mix of Latin, Italian, German, Greek
Onomatopoeia and metaphor abound
A hybrid breeding ground spawning
Succinct, short nouns
If you’re attractive, you are a babe
Otherwise you’re just a broad
If you are pretty, you are a doll
If you rate a ten, you’re a real hot number
Men have a deep vocabulary need
To express their thoughts, and how they feel
Hence a genuine concern
With verbal agility at every turn
If you are cute, if you purr sweet things
In his ear, you’re a kitten
If ugly, a dog, if fat, a cow
Cougars, you’re better kept hidden
Find a fox, sassy, thin and sleek
Be a bunny, soft-spoken,
Soothing, silky, shy and meek
Woe to the woman who does not fit the bill
When men smell weakness, they close in for the kill
Few things are worse than a chick who won’t obey
Flitting around all day, there’s no knowing who she’ll lay
Is she’s a looker, she must be a hooker,
A twat, a twit, a pussy
Nothing upstairs, unintelligent views,
She’s a bimbo and a ninny
We have the B word, we have the C word,
Out of control with PMS
Baby, babe, wicked witch
The alphabet is rich –
Don’t scratch that itch!
