Coping Styles: Narcissist Abuses "Loved" Ones Despite Abandonment Anxiety

 

Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html The narcissist abuses his intimate partners, significant others, and nearest and dearest because it helps him to regulate his excruciating abandonment anxiety in 4 ways: (1) Devaluing others restores his sense of superiority and grandiosity; (2) He preempts his own abandonment by precipitating it and, thus, controlling the situation; (3) His abusive conduct helps him to learn more about his "loved" ones by observing their reactions and this added information alleviates his anxiety; (4) Abuse works: it leads to the modification of the victims' behavior and to submissiveness. There are 5 effective coping styles: (1) Submissiveness; (2) Counterdependent/conflictive stance; (3) Mirroring; (4) Collusion; (5) Displacement (redirecting the abuse at third parties) which is a form of cultish shared psychosis. (From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)