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(INTRO)
Weeeeelllll I met her at a bar
We made out in her car
Everything was good until my buzz went afar
Looked her in her face and what did I see?
She looked like a cow all the way from Tennessee
I hopped in my truck
and even blew some chunks
Couldn't believe what I dun just dun
Almost made love to someone bigger than the sun
Now I understand why my legs went numb
Couple days later I was itchin for some fun
Thought i'd go to church and maybe pick up a nun
But that didn't happen cause you know who was there?
The same dang girl with size 50 underwears!
She put me on her shoulder like a bag of tomaters
Went back to the bar and ordered beer and potaters
Got so drunk cause the beer was ice cold
Nothin else to do because she wouldn't lemme go!
After all them taters she went to the pot, I listened real close and all I heard was fartin!
Smelt like the rear end of a dead squirrel! (LAUGH)
Then something weird happened to my eyes and she came out looking like Dolly Parton!
She was smokin' baby haha YELLOW!
I looked at her and she looked at me
My eyes lit up like a Christmas tree
Walked up to her said honeybee
Don't you worry next rounds on me!
Started chugging pitchers of that tasty brew
Drank so much I had to use the lou
Pee'd all over that toilet seat
I didn't even clean it cause I couldn't miss a beat
She started looking better after every beer
hella lot better than a whitetail deer
If I wasn't so drunk ida made her my wife
Even though sober she's a fat Betty White
That big hunk of woman said it's time to go
She lifted me up and stormed across the flo
I reached in my pocket and threw a fat tip
We got outside and this is what we did
We left that ol' bar
We made love in her car
My buzz was still good from all that PBR
Looked in her face and what did I see?
She looked like a model all the way from Italy
I hopped in my truck
and hollered that was fun!
Couldn't believe what I dun just dun
Made love to someone with a boulder for a bum
Now we're expecting a newborn son!
Moral of the story y'all
Instead of makin' love to a cow from a bar
You're better off makin' love to a cow from a farm
It's cheaper... and well kinda feels good too! hahaha
*MOOOOO*
Oh shut uuuuup! KEEP IT HILLBILLY! (LAUGH)
